R is for Reunification

In situations where children were brought into closed adoptions, or where relationships with first families have been limited, some adopted children will seek to meet and build a relationship with their first family.

This process, known as reunification, is a complex and nuanced circumstance that resurfaces old trauma, calls into question all the hard parts of the story, and may uncover heartbreak.

It can also work for healing, understanding, and grace after years apart. When adoptees are reunified with their birth parents, siblings, or other family members, they are given the opportunity to learn about their roots, understand their quirks, and connect with their biology.

We often hear the fear come out from those around us. “But what if they want to stay with their family?”

That fear of rejection in reunification is multi-layered and nuanced. Won’t there be the same fear from the adoptee - that their birth family won’t accept them? Or fear by a birth family that their child will harbor resentment?

Ultimately, there aren’t cut and dry answers for how reunification will progress until the first steps are taken. It could be a one-time reunion, or it could blossom into a deep and rewarding relationship for all involved.

The only thing we can do is approach it with love.