U is for Unlearn

I can’t tell you how many inappropriate questions I have been asked about our child and our adoption journey.

“Didn’t you want your own kids?”
“Why did she give up her baby?”
“Aren’t you afraid your kid will want to be with their real family someday?”

And my favorite…

“I could never…”

The list goes on. It triggers my momma bear feelings regarding race, poverty, support for women and single mothers, and the justice system, and it makes me realize the deeply judgmental and ignorant perception of adoption that most people hold.

As a mom of a young person who will grow up learning that they come from adoption, I’m begging to lean in and unlearn. Our experience as adoptive parents teaches us that our children are the primary subjects in this experience and that their identity needs to be set on a foundation that isn’t centered on taboo.

The choice to make an adoption plan can be brought on by a myriad of factors. But the empowerment of the families to put their child’s best interest ahead of their own is a grace-filled and self-aware decision.

Adoption is not taboo. It’s not something to whisper about in the corner of the room or something about which to make assumptions for the worst.

It is a result of tragedy. It causes trauma in children.

But it also builds families, grows our ability to love, and opens our eyes to how deeply we can love those around us.